Monday, September 20, 2010

His Baby Mama

Are you in a relationship with a man who has children, or have you ever been in one? What was it like, did he and his baby mama have a good relationship, and were they able to co-parent in a harmonious way?

Personally, I have been in many relationships with men who had children, some serious and some not so serious. I have experienced the ones who always had something negative to say about their child's mother or some who were probably still sleeping with their baby mama, but tried so hard to hide that fact by having mean or bad things to say about her. Either way, why is it so hard for men/women to move on and co-parent in a loving and healthy way?

What is it about HIS BABY MAMA? Is HIS BABY MAMA making it difficult for him to have a relationship with his child? Is HIS BABY MAMA in a relationship herself and dealing with a guy who is insecure about the child's father? Is HIS BABY MAMA still in love with him, and have not gotten over the fact that they are no longer together? Is HIS BABY MAMA actually a nice woman who he may not be over?

There are so many scenarios, some that can actually evolve into wonderful functioning co-parent relationships, but may require both parents getting over him/herself & working things out for the sake of their children. If both would look at the situation in terms of being adults who use to have some kind of love for each other, and wish each other the best and do what needs to be done in order to be the best parents they can be...Change Gonna Come! And unfortunately there are those scenarios that seem like they will never be worked out. However, if that is the case, it may require some type of professional or family intervention to get things moving forward towards harmony, for the sake of everyone involved.

If you are dealing with a HIS BABY MAMA situation, what should you do, or better yet, should you do anything? What are your options? Take the time to really evaluate the situation, and be honest with yourself and your feelings. And make sure you are not trying to make something a situation due to your own insecurities or issues with your baby daddy.

If you are a Baby Mama, like so many are - lets make sure we are on our job of being a good parent, making sound decisions, being good role models and not putting our child(ren) in any situation that is detrimental to their health or happiness. And be careful who you bring around your child(ren), ask questions, watch, listen and be relentless in your search for true Love, and for God's sake - have some Self Esteem!

We will definitely be revisiting this topic as I have much to say. Please share your thoughts, stories, questions or concerns, thank you.

#TeamBabyMomma #22

Thursday, September 16, 2010

#LetsHaveAToast to the DoucheBag

#LetsHaveatoast to the douchebag, so this toast goes out to Dwight Howard! I'm sending this toast out to him based on an article I read in the Miami New Times which describes Dwight Howard suing his Baby Mama, Royce Reed, for over $500 milion dollars. So for that, he definitely deserves this toast! His suit alleges that Royce leaked personal information to the press; and since his attorneys placed a gag order on her in 2009, they feel she owes him this exorbitant amount of money. Read the full story here:


My reasons for writing this have nothing to do with taking sides, or blasting him; But is merely to express my feelings on a matter that involves not only him and Royce Reed, but their child. What message is this sending to the child (who may or may not be old enough to understand any of this) but we know that with the Internet, everything lives on.

This is not about the money, but more about his ego and the need/ability to control! As an athlete this man is in the public eye so why is he tripping; he should be use to people talking about him. And besides, this is her life as well, so she should be able to speak about what she wants, as well as post pics of her child. Currently, whatever his feelings are for Royce, this lawsuit is ludacris and he knows she does not have the money. Lets just say he gets the money...then what?

Get over yourself Mr. Howard, and worry about more important things like being a father and learning how to co-parent with your child's mother. Whatever Royce was saying before which led him to place a gag order last year, must have had some truth to it. Trust, whatever she had to say came from some personal experience.

Dwight, you have a child with this woman, stop running to the courts, and handle your own damn business! Growth and change can be uncomfortable, but don't let money and status stop you from doing what's right. We have to set examples for our children, regardless. Children learn about love from their parents. How can you teach him/her about love, and have no love for the woman who bore your child? Life is too short, families are suffering, due to all the drama going on between baby mamas and baby daddys; enough with this madness!

Problems occur between parents who are together and those who aren't, but we must always remember that at the end of the day, it's about the child(ren).
Come on, Can't We All Just Get Along:) Make a choice to do and be better. ~

#TeamBabyMomma #22