Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A Mother's Love - R.I.P. Trayvon Martin

I am My Sistah's Keeper

On Februrary 26, 2012 yet another tragedy took place that made everyone stop; and have to look at our Beloved America and its Justice System with a side-eye. On this day an innocent, unarmed 17 year old black male by the name of Trayvon Martin was gunned down in a suburban, gated community in Sanford, Florida. It was weeks later that the uneasiness of many Americans began to spread with regards to the handling, or lack thereof on bringing the shooter to justice - who in this case is a white male named George Zimmerman.

On March 21st people took to the streets here in New York City for a rally and to stand in solidarity with the parents of Trayvon Martin - Tracy Martin and Sybrina Fulton. Thousands donned hoodies as representative of what Trayvon was wearing the evening that his life was lost. I too, rocked my hoodie - took my pic, signed the petition for justice and had countless conversations re: this sudden tragedy. I have been wanting to write something to express my sadness, anger, embarrassment of Beloved America's justice system, and to pay my respects to Trayvon. But I could not do it, there has been and continues to be so much going on in my head with regards to this horrific tragedy. I am Trayvon Martin, many have cried out for we know that at any given time, that can be any of us - our sons, fathers, brothers, uncles etc. Because this is what we are faced with being Black here in Beloved America! But aside from that, I write this today as a MOM, I am Sybrina Fulton - because her son is my son.

Sybrina, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Trayvon, who became our precious Trayvon.

I write this still dazed and confused by all of the ridiculousness involved with bringing the killer to justice. I grieve with you and for you, and I stand in solidarity with YOU for I am My Sistah's Keeper! The love a mother has for her son, is one of the most awesome loves, we MOMS have this unspoken bond with our boys, they are our babies and we want to do everything in our power to protect them from the harsh realities that we know they will be faced with as they grow up in this scary place called America. We know the deep-rooted hate, fear and whatever else most non-black people have for our boys/men. As we watch them develop, all we can do is pray and prepare them for what they may face as we hope they will live long enough to become MEN. We love our sons unconditionally, they are our pride and joy.

I will forever be uneasy as my teenage son (who is only one year older than Trayvon) walks out of the door each day. Just the other morning he left out for school and for some reason he didn't give me his normal kiss with his usual words of "I'm leaving Mommy, love you have a good day." I just heard the door slam and he did not hear me call after him, nor did he hear me calling him out of the window because he had his music player on. For the rest of the day I was on pins and needles, I started to call the school to leave a message for him to call me, but didn't. When he came home, I was frazzled and wanted to know why he didn't say goodbye, he said he was running late and that he called out goodbye; but that was not the same as hearing him say it, as he kisses me on my cheek. This is our routine, there isn't a day that goes by that we don't hear the words I love you from the other. This is what we as Black Mothers have to live with, wondering if our precious boys or other men in our life will make it back home alive, or will they run into super cop or as in this case, super neighborhood watchman with a gun just looking for a reason...

Peace and Love,
Team Baby Momma #22