I love visiting other blogs and reading posts related to parenting, single mothers/fathers, family and the like. Tonight I came across an interesting read and wanted to share with my BabyMommaLove Family. Please visit the following link and check out the post, it's entitled Raise Your Hand High - I found it to be very thought provoking, and it was definitely something that made me go...Hmmmmmmmm.
Happy Reading, Discovering & Growing!
http://www.weddedblissinc.com/Wedded_Bliss_Foundation/Marriage,_Please_Blog/Entries/2011/9/22_Raise_Your_Hands_High!!.html
Showing posts with label Single Mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Single Mothers. Show all posts
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
College Bound...Co-Parents and Travel
There are many single mothers out there who have young adults who graduated from HS this past June, and are now headed to college. What happens when it's time to get your child to college and you are co-parenting with a past mate? What if you are single, in a live-in relationship with someone else, or just in a relationship? What if your baby daddy is now married, in a relationship or in a live-in one - how does that affect you both as parents as you make preparations to get your young adult to college when there is travel involved?
Well, I'm a single mother and recently experienced traveling with my child's father as we made an eight to nine hour drive to get our son to college. I don't drive, he does, so in my mind there would be no question about how my child would get to school when he has a father that drives and with a car. I never even gave thought to the fact that we would have to be on the road for such a long period of time, and have to drive back together - just the two of us. We get along well and we are at a good place at this time, so I figured the trip would be cool; we would have some laughs, shed some tears as we left our child to start his next phase in life - and be on our way back.
All of the aforementioned happened, but on the way down there was some tension as a conversation came up about a conflict that we experienced years ago during a time when he was not always present in his child's life, and sadly not being the best dad he could be. And in the midst of that conflict was his then girlfriend, now wife. Oh, and did I mention that his car was in the shop and he had to use his wife's car to drive our son back to school...I found this out when he arrived to pick us up. What I also found out is that she didn't know I was going. He said he felt it was easier and best not to let her know that. He asked me if I was married what I would have done, my reply was "If I was married, me and my mate would be driving down meeting you there, we would all be going together; or you and I would be going like we are now, it would be automatic and definitely not an issue." He also said "well you know how women are, they always think that something may go on with the baby momma," I was shocked as hell to hear a statement like that! Especially because my son's father and I have not been together for over 15 years; so why would his wife even have a thought like that when it came to us. It was not a good feeling, all I could say was "who would think that a mother would not be going to take her only child to start his/her first year as they move-in for college." The tension was short lived, and we continued on - made it there safely and right on time.
During the move-in we were good, but at one point he did get on my nerves and I felt like he was looking to try and start with me; I was already very emotional, as I would soon be leaving my one and only child on campus more than eight hours away from home:(
In that instance I just thought about how men always try to make it seem like their Baby Momma is insensitive, the one with the problem, loud or less than...pick one. Or when they over compensate by talking about their significant other, as if to put them on a pedestal. I'm always happy for anyone who finds love, and exhibits a significant level of growth through time and maturity. But in the end, you know what your experience was, and the choices that your past mate made which contributed to your not wanting to continue in a relationship with him.
My advice to me, celebrate the beautiful gift from God that the two of you created, acknowledge the progress made as co-parents, love unconditionally and always smile. Remember the role that you played in getting your child to where he or she is at that moment, and celebrate your strength as a single mom!
Peace and Always Love,
Team Baby Momma #22
Well, I'm a single mother and recently experienced traveling with my child's father as we made an eight to nine hour drive to get our son to college. I don't drive, he does, so in my mind there would be no question about how my child would get to school when he has a father that drives and with a car. I never even gave thought to the fact that we would have to be on the road for such a long period of time, and have to drive back together - just the two of us. We get along well and we are at a good place at this time, so I figured the trip would be cool; we would have some laughs, shed some tears as we left our child to start his next phase in life - and be on our way back.
All of the aforementioned happened, but on the way down there was some tension as a conversation came up about a conflict that we experienced years ago during a time when he was not always present in his child's life, and sadly not being the best dad he could be. And in the midst of that conflict was his then girlfriend, now wife. Oh, and did I mention that his car was in the shop and he had to use his wife's car to drive our son back to school...I found this out when he arrived to pick us up. What I also found out is that she didn't know I was going. He said he felt it was easier and best not to let her know that. He asked me if I was married what I would have done, my reply was "If I was married, me and my mate would be driving down meeting you there, we would all be going together; or you and I would be going like we are now, it would be automatic and definitely not an issue." He also said "well you know how women are, they always think that something may go on with the baby momma," I was shocked as hell to hear a statement like that! Especially because my son's father and I have not been together for over 15 years; so why would his wife even have a thought like that when it came to us. It was not a good feeling, all I could say was "who would think that a mother would not be going to take her only child to start his/her first year as they move-in for college." The tension was short lived, and we continued on - made it there safely and right on time.
During the move-in we were good, but at one point he did get on my nerves and I felt like he was looking to try and start with me; I was already very emotional, as I would soon be leaving my one and only child on campus more than eight hours away from home:(
In that instance I just thought about how men always try to make it seem like their Baby Momma is insensitive, the one with the problem, loud or less than...pick one. Or when they over compensate by talking about their significant other, as if to put them on a pedestal. I'm always happy for anyone who finds love, and exhibits a significant level of growth through time and maturity. But in the end, you know what your experience was, and the choices that your past mate made which contributed to your not wanting to continue in a relationship with him.
My advice to me, celebrate the beautiful gift from God that the two of you created, acknowledge the progress made as co-parents, love unconditionally and always smile. Remember the role that you played in getting your child to where he or she is at that moment, and celebrate your strength as a single mom!
Peace and Always Love,
Team Baby Momma #22
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Pregnant, Single & Looking for a New Love...
Do you remember the song, "I'm Looking for a New Love", I believe Jody Watley sang it, it had a nice melody and you would always see the ladies on the dance floor with their hands in the air vibing and singing along "I'm looking for a new love baby, a new love baby, yeah yeah yeah!!!
Well, what do you think about a pregnant woman who is about to give birth in a short amount of time, and set on finding a New Love before she gives birth?
I posed this question because I recently watched an episode of Pregnant in Heels - a television show that airs on the Bravo network about a woman named Rosie Pope who is a Baby Conceirge, she also owns the Rosie Pope Maternity Boutique in New York City and Los Angeles. Anywho, one of Rose's clients was an ex-model named Akua, who was very pregnant, yes very:) she wanted Rosie's help in finding a New Love before the birth of her baby. I was intrigued as I watched, I know that people have strange requests, and this may not be along the lines of strange, but nevertheless it had my attention. I write about this, because it was so interesting watching the steps Rosie took in her efforts to get Ms. Akua ready to date while pregnant.
Even with all the coaching, Akua managed to screw up the date by saying many of the wrong things, which Rosie had already warned her to stay away from. During the date Akua was wired, and had an earpiece so that Rosie could monitor how things were going an alert her when she needed to switch gears. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, but Akua learned a valuable lesson.
Photo below from Bravo - Episode 8: The Pregnancy Dating Dilemma
Rosie meets Akua, a soon-to-be single mom who's determined to find a man now.
PREMIERE: Tuesday July 3, 10 pm - visit link here: http://www.bravotv.com/pregnant-in-heels/season-2/episode-8-the-pregnancy-dating-dilemma
At one point Akua said to Rosie "I just really want Love in my life," and Rosie had to remind her that she had Love, just a different kind. This Baby Momma (Akua) learned that she didn't need a man before she gave birth to complete her puzzle, that she already had all the love and support she would need at that time. It was a bittersweet ending. She gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. She had the support of her Girlfriends, who were a big part of her life, and definitely in her corner; and in three months she began dating again!
There are many women out there like Akua, who feel a certain way because they got pregnant and the man who they thought was Mr. Right, turns out to be Mr. Oh So Wrong. You have to remember that life is about taking chances, we can never predict how the future will turn out, but we must have Faith and Believe that whatever we are faced with, that we can get through it, and make it out alright. We have choices, and when You choose to bring a child into this world, You have to realize that You just may end up raising that child alone. When men don't step up and handle their responsibility, it is not a reflection on you, it is their own Mess, and it's up to them to come to that realization and get whatever help they need in order to move forward and do what a Real Man is suppose to do! I don't believe that a woman would just want to be a Single Mother if she doesn't have to be, and being a Single Mother doesn't mean you are cursed and won't ever find true love or that you don't deserve true love.
Remember it is Doable, Love is there for you, You just have to be ready to receive it. That means focus on Loving Yourself, and Your Child correctly - then you can be open to receive Love from the Man of Your Dreams - when He shows up in your life.
Ladies, keep your head up, Love is there for you - But you have to realize that it may come in a different way than what you expected at first.
There is no Love Like the Love of a Baby Momma:)
Peace and Love,
Team Baby Momma #22
Well, what do you think about a pregnant woman who is about to give birth in a short amount of time, and set on finding a New Love before she gives birth?
I posed this question because I recently watched an episode of Pregnant in Heels - a television show that airs on the Bravo network about a woman named Rosie Pope who is a Baby Conceirge, she also owns the Rosie Pope Maternity Boutique in New York City and Los Angeles. Anywho, one of Rose's clients was an ex-model named Akua, who was very pregnant, yes very:) she wanted Rosie's help in finding a New Love before the birth of her baby. I was intrigued as I watched, I know that people have strange requests, and this may not be along the lines of strange, but nevertheless it had my attention. I write about this, because it was so interesting watching the steps Rosie took in her efforts to get Ms. Akua ready to date while pregnant.
Even with all the coaching, Akua managed to screw up the date by saying many of the wrong things, which Rosie had already warned her to stay away from. During the date Akua was wired, and had an earpiece so that Rosie could monitor how things were going an alert her when she needed to switch gears. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, but Akua learned a valuable lesson.
Photo below from Bravo - Episode 8: The Pregnancy Dating Dilemma
Rosie meets Akua, a soon-to-be single mom who's determined to find a man now.
PREMIERE: Tuesday July 3, 10 pm - visit link here: http://www.bravotv.com/pregnant-in-heels/season-2/episode-8-the-pregnancy-dating-dilemma
At one point Akua said to Rosie "I just really want Love in my life," and Rosie had to remind her that she had Love, just a different kind. This Baby Momma (Akua) learned that she didn't need a man before she gave birth to complete her puzzle, that she already had all the love and support she would need at that time. It was a bittersweet ending. She gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. She had the support of her Girlfriends, who were a big part of her life, and definitely in her corner; and in three months she began dating again!
There are many women out there like Akua, who feel a certain way because they got pregnant and the man who they thought was Mr. Right, turns out to be Mr. Oh So Wrong. You have to remember that life is about taking chances, we can never predict how the future will turn out, but we must have Faith and Believe that whatever we are faced with, that we can get through it, and make it out alright. We have choices, and when You choose to bring a child into this world, You have to realize that You just may end up raising that child alone. When men don't step up and handle their responsibility, it is not a reflection on you, it is their own Mess, and it's up to them to come to that realization and get whatever help they need in order to move forward and do what a Real Man is suppose to do! I don't believe that a woman would just want to be a Single Mother if she doesn't have to be, and being a Single Mother doesn't mean you are cursed and won't ever find true love or that you don't deserve true love.
Remember it is Doable, Love is there for you, You just have to be ready to receive it. That means focus on Loving Yourself, and Your Child correctly - then you can be open to receive Love from the Man of Your Dreams - when He shows up in your life.
Ladies, keep your head up, Love is there for you - But you have to realize that it may come in a different way than what you expected at first.
There is no Love Like the Love of a Baby Momma:)
Peace and Love,
Team Baby Momma #22
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
