The Reality of The Real Housewives of Atlanta

There is always some question as to the validity of the story lines with some of these reality shows. But the reality of the Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA)is that these are real women with the same issues that everyday women like you and I go through. Sheree's reality was played out on this past Sunday's episode 12/4/11, as she dealt with the reality of her ex-husband who has not paid child support in four years. The words, emotions and reactions were all too real, and I felt her pain.

I have been watching the "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" since season 1; so I am clear on what's been going on, and have been following the story lines pertaining to each woman. One thing that has been constant since that first season is Sheree's baby daddy, Bob Whitfield and his lack of child support payments. Basically, he has not paid child support in the last four years, and he believes that he should not have to. What is wrong with this picture?

Watching it play out, really saddened me as Sheree calmly asked him about paying. It is my understanding that they are divorced and she was awarded a substantial divorce settlement...which she still has yet to receive. They seem to have gotten the visitation thing down, as the children have their time that they spend at their dad's place, based on his response about them having rooms at his house; as if having a room at his house takes the place of his paying child support...laughable.

Is this man that bitter that he has to deny her what she is due to prove some kind of ignorant point? Do you think he really believes that it requires no money to raise two children? There is some underlying resentment on his end, and why? That is something that he needs to figure out, by either getting professional help, or making a personal committment to self-healing and growth.

My main point in bringing this whole situation up has to do with Sheree not wanting to go back to court, if it requires putting her children's father in jail. I understand how one may feel, no one wants to look like the bad guy:( Or is it a case of being labeled the angry, evil, bitter, black baby momma who wants to see him suffer by putting him in jail? By Sheree exercising her right to go to court, doesn't make her a bad person, nor does it become her fault if they decide to throw him in jail. If he doesn't have the money, why not at least make some type of agreement to paying something, which he could have done with Sheree during their private time. Instead, he just flat out says he is not paying because she is doing what she needs to do and moving forward...so unfair.

I saw Sheree in a whole new light during this episode, even faced with the reality that she may never get her child support, the tears dropped as she grappled with feeling like she would be the cause of putting her children's father in jail. She can't be that bad a person if she is still considering his feelings, as well as what her children would think if they found out. Bob Whitfield seems like the type who would play victim, even to his children - all with the intent on making them believe that their mother did this to him because she is money hungry and mean.

Good luck Sheree! in the end, you have to do what is best for you and your children. God got you:)

Would love to hear other's feelings on this, please share - you never know who could benefit by what you have to say - Thank you.

Check out this Clip of the Confrontation from 12/4/11 Episode: (Link provided by Huff Post - Black Voices)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/05/the-real-housewives-of-atlanta-sheree-child-support_n_1129233.html

By Team Baby Momma #22

His Baby Mama

Are you in a relationship with a man who has children, or have you ever been in one? What was it like, did he and his baby mama have a good relationship, and were they able to co-parent in a harmonious way?

Personally, I have been in many relationships with men who had children, some serious and some not so serious. I have experienced the ones who always had something negative to say about their child's mother or some who were probably still sleeping with their baby mama, but tried so hard to hide that fact by having mean or bad things to say about her. Either way, why is it so hard for men/women to move on and co-parent in a loving and healthy way?

What is it about HIS BABY MAMA? Is HIS BABY MAMA making it difficult for him to have a relationship with his child? Is HIS BABY MAMA in a relationship herself and dealing with a guy who is insecure about the child's father? Is HIS BABY MAMA still in love with him, and have not gotten over the fact that they are no longer together? Is HIS BABY MAMA actually a nice woman who he may not be over?

There are so many scenarios, some that can actually evolve into wonderful functioning co-parent relationships, but may require both parents getting over him/herself & working things out for the sake of their children. If both would look at the situation in terms of being adults who use to have some kind of love for each other, and wish each other the best and do what needs to be done in order to be the best parents they can be...Change Gonna Come! And unfortunately there are those scenarios that seem like they will never be worked out. However, if that is the case, it may require some type of professional or family intervention to get things moving forward towards harmony, for the sake of everyone involved.

If you are dealing with a HIS BABY MAMA situation, what should you do, or better yet, should you do anything? What are your options? Take the time to really evaluate the situation, and be honest with yourself and your feelings. And make sure you are not trying to make something a situation due to your own insecurities or issues with your baby daddy.

If you are a Baby Mama, like so many are - lets make sure we are on our job of being a good parent, making sound decisions, being good role models and not putting our child(ren) in any situation that is detrimental to their health or happiness. And be careful who you bring around your child(ren), ask questions, watch, listen and be relentless in your search for true Love, and for God's sake - have some Self Esteem!

We will definitely be revisiting this topic as I have much to say. Please share your thoughts, stories, questions or concerns, thank you.

#TeamBabyMomma #22

#LetsHaveAToast to the DoucheBag

#LetsHaveatoast to the douchebag, so this toast goes out to Dwight Howard! I'm sending this toast out to him based on an article I read in the Miami New Times which describes Dwight Howard suing his Baby Mama, Royce Reed, for over $500 milion dollars. So for that, he definitely deserves this toast! His suit alleges that Royce leaked personal information to the press; and since his attorneys placed a gag order on her in 2009, they feel she owes him this exorbitant amount of money. Read the full story here:

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My reasons for writing this have nothing to do with taking sides, or blasting him; But is merely to express my feelings on a matter that involves not only him and Royce Reed, but their child. What message is this sending to the child (who may or may not be old enough to understand any of this) but we know that with the Internet, everything lives on.

This is not about the money, but more about his ego and the need/ability to control! As an athlete this man is in the public eye so why is he tripping; he should be use to people talking about him. And besides, this is her life as well, so she should be able to speak about what she wants, as well as post pics of her child. Currently, whatever his feelings are for Royce, this lawsuit is ludacris and he knows she does not have the money. Lets just say he gets the money...then what?

Get over yourself Mr. Howard, and worry about more important things like being a father and learning how to co-parent with your child's mother. Whatever Royce was saying before which led him to place a gag order last year, must have had some truth to it. Trust, whatever she had to say came from some personal experience.

Dwight, you have a child with this woman, stop running to the courts, and handle your own damn business! Growth and change can be uncomfortable, but don't let money and status stop you from doing what's right. We have to set examples for our children, regardless. Children learn about love from their parents. How can you teach him/her about love, and have no love for the woman who bore your child? Life is too short, families are suffering, due to all the drama going on between baby mamas and baby daddys; enough with this madness!

Problems occur between parents who are together and those who aren't, but we must always remember that at the end of the day, it's about the child(ren).
Come on, Can't We All Just Get Along:) Make a choice to do and be better. ~

#TeamBabyMomma #22